So today was a difficult day.
But for once, on the 28th of a month, the horrible event that happened six months ago wasn't tearing me apart all day. Today was an awful day for reasons I will share later, but as I trudged my way through this day, I felt this presence.
Leila was with me.
Leila was wrapping her sweet angel wings around me and telling me that she is here.
And though I wish with all my heart that I could hold her, kiss her, rock her:
I am comforted just knowing she is with me. Always.
I am starting to heal. I can feel that a little more each day. I miss her every day, but my thoughts aren't consumed with the grief and guilt that I once felt.
Some days are hard for different reasons, like today. But I have come to find this peace and understanding.
I have accepted that she just wasn't meant to be with us on Earth. God has bigger plans for her, and I will see her again one day.
So though today was a horribly, awful, difficult day: I survived.
As I have managed to do every day since we said goodbye.
And I will continue to do so every single day until we say hello again.
I love you sweet baby angel.
-Mommy
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