Memories... Like Mom Made!

Memories... Like Mom Made!
Out of dark moments, flowers grow.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

I Am Still Here.

Why do I feel so weak all the time?
Like trying to move forward will break me.
I try to let the time take me,
To remake me.

And yet here I am.

Day after day I am still here.
Though part of me is missing you,
Part of me is missing, too,
It just won't do.

And yet, here I am.

A woman with half a heart.
Making the motions, playing the part.
Trying to feel, trying to mend.
Trying not to think of what should have been.

And yet, here I am:

Thinking of you. Of your tiny fingers.
Your long, skinny toes.
Your dark peach fuzz hair and your teeny nose.
I'll never stop thinking of you, I suppose.

But maybe, just maybe

One day it will hurt a little less.
When I think of you, perhaps I will smile,
And only shed a tear once in a while
But still miss you, I will.

And yet, I am still here.

I am still here. Though my posts have been few and far between: I am still here. These last few weeks have been rough on me. Dealing with the mixed emotions from day to day and trying to settle in to our new normal has not been easy. But I have been making it through as best I can... I have a lot of new recipes and tutorials coming your way. I haven't quite figured out how to make the transition from personal journal entries back into my crafting and cooking posts... I feel a bit bipolar when I look at heartfelt entry after heartfelt entry, then see a recipe sprinkled in.

I am still hurting... but I am moving forward as best I can.

Cooking and sewing have helped me greatly in that department. And I want to share that with you all.

I will never stop missing Leila, but I don't want my emotions to keep me from living the rest of my life. I am trying to learn how to balance missing her with moving forward.

Slowly but surely, I think I will get through this.

I look forward to the coming months with all of you. I hope you do too.

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