Yesterday was unbearable.
It was awful.
It was probably up there with the worst days since Leila passed away.
I went to bed last night crying and wishing all the pain would just go away and I could go back to being pregnant and excited.
My shower was supposed to be this Saturday. I am supposed to be excited and preparing for my precious baby girl...
I am not supposed to be mourning her.
Yesterday we had to relive the pain of losing her all over again. We had to retrace all the mistakes made that led to her early arrival. It was excruciatingly unbearable.
I don't wish this on my worst enemy. I am not a person that wishes pain on people... But apparently people wish pain on me. When I got home some horrible woman had emailed me making up rumors about my husband. It was disgusting. Who does that? Who kicks someone when they are down? Thank God that I actually trust my husband, or it may have actually done damage.
Needless to say, yesterday was rough.
I went to bed last night miserable and at a very low point...
But eventually the tears stopped coming and I fell asleep. And then, something incredible happened:
I woke up today.
And the sun was shining. And my son was smiling. And I had made it through another awful day.
You know what, so far, today has been better.
You and your family are so loved. I know that nobody can say or do anything to make it better.
ReplyDeleteI think of you all often and I still cherish the times we spent together in college on the road.
I'm so sorry you all are having to go through this.