Memories... Like Mom Made!

Memories... Like Mom Made!
Out of dark moments, flowers grow.

Friday, April 5, 2013

A Whole New Life... and a Big Fat Excuse...

Hi there...

Remember me?

Yeah...

I know.

I did it again.

I dropped off the face of the earth for an extended period of time...

And well, let's face it, with me, that usually means something HUGE happened.

Because that is just how my life goes.



So maybe you have already noticed a change or two... If you did, well then you deserve a cookie because tonight is the first time I sat down in front of my blog since the very last post I wrote.

You see, if you remember correctly, on June 9, 2012, my parents and grandparents were involved in a horrific car accident that changed their lives, and mine, forever. It has been almost 10 months and they are still not all healed and back to their original selves, and probably never will be.

Well, as if that wasn't enough to take me away from the blogging world for a while, four days after that horrific day, my husband of 4.5 years called me to ask me for a divorce.

Yes.

I finally said it.

I finally wrote the ugly word that I have been avoiding writing to all of you people who don't even see me in my day to day life, because honestly, I didn't know how to say it. I didn't know how to come to a place that I had created for myself and others in the name of Navy wives and housewives everywhere and say that my husband left me.

I couldn't face it.

But I can now. For a lot of reasons.

I mean let's face it... it has almost been a year. I am officially divorced, living in a new state, living a beautiful new life surrounded by people who love me and bring out the absolute best in me as a mother, friend, and person, and I am not ashamed of that.

What more could a person want?

I am not ashamed of being divorced. I think it took a lot of soul searching, contemplating, and meditating to arrive to this conclusion, but I realize now that I can't hide pieces of my life because I am afraid of what others might think. I hid from one of the few things in my world that made perfect sense to me: writing and sharing my passions with people who genuinely want to read what I have to say. I mean, honestly, if you are still reading this, that is pretty amazing (because I am seriously rambling) and I hid from this perfect thing in my life simply because I was terrified to admit to perfect strangers that I am one of the many thousands of women who has been left by a man.

But there is so much more to it than that! I didn't break or fall apart... I didn't give up and run crying into the night! I put one foot in front of the other, like I have through every tough thing I have faced, and I made it. I signed a piece of paper that I SWORE I would never sign (because until I found myself in the position, I truly did not believe in divorce) and I put the pieces of myself back together, taped my heart up, dusted it off, and kept living.

And guess what?

Life got BETTER.

Better than it had been in years.

Which was kind of a wake up call.

And it made me realize, how many women are out there feeling abandoned, lost, scared, cheated, scarred, or unloved because they were left by someone they had given everything for? How many women could read my words and feel like they weren't alone. Feel hope. Realize that it does get better...

After all, that is what this so called cooking blog turned in to anyway, right? A way for me to try and connect with those dealing with unspeakable, difficult, tragic life experiences.

So why would I run from that?

Well I am done running.

So that was my excuse. That is why I was absent for so long.

And once again, I apologize. I have promised before to be a "better blogger"... but I am not going to promise that anymore.

I don't promise I will post every day or once a week or anything like that. And I also don't promise that I won't post five times in one day just because I feel like it.

I will promise that I won't run from you guys any more. I promise that I will try and share some of the bits of awesome from my "new" life (including: sustainable living, home gardening, a complete little girl's room makeover, tons of handmade children's clothes, home based learning opportunities for toddlers, cloth diapering, baby wearing, baby led weaning, and a lot of good cooking) with you when I can. I promise that I will be focusing some personal and public time on spreading awareness about Leila's Resolution and premature birth awareness and prevention. That is a personal promise to myself that I will share with you in the future.... I promise. ;)

So I hope that sums it all up. :)

What topics are you looking forward to from the NEW Virginia?

6 comments:

  1. I think you are an qmazing inspiring fun spirited woman! You deserve the life you have created for your self and a new begining! Looking forward to any post you make :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are a strong, beautiful woman and mother. Im so excited for the way your life is going amd truly happy fpr you! You deserve to be happy :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. You are simply amazing! I look forward to reading what you post.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Virginia, I dont think anyone wants to get a divorce, it just happens and is often times beyond our control. So glad to see you have overcome that and other heart-wrenching obsticles in your life.

    ReplyDelete
  5. So glad to see you back on the blog! I was missing your posts. Love you crazy much!

    ReplyDelete
  6. You are awesome. You have very happy kids, you're a great mom. It's your ex's loss that he couldn't see that and asked for a divorce.
    I agree that very few enter their marriages thinking of divorce.

    ReplyDelete