Memories... Like Mom Made!

Memories... Like Mom Made!
Out of dark moments, flowers grow.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Four Months.

Four months ago today was one of the most emotional days of my life:

happy, sad, terrified, hopeful.

I had a million different emotions bubbling inside of me and spilling out all over the place.

Mostly I was happy.

I had my daughter on this day four months ago.

I had everything I could ever want.

I think if I had known, I mean, really known, that I was only going to have 12 days with her, I wouldn't have ever left her side. I would have just stared at her for hours, soaking up everything about her... Her little nose, her wrinkly forehead, her long skinny fingers and toes.

But I didn't know.

I was so hopeful. I was so sure that everything was going to be okay, and so terrified to give in to the thought that maybe it wouldn't.

These days I am doing a little better.

Some days are harder than others... At first, I was doing okay today. Today was going to be a strong day for me... But then I looked at the calendar and realized what day it is... and I started crying one of those ugly sobbing cries...

My son crawled in my lap and kissed me and said "it okay mama".

So I told him why I was crying. We talked about baby sister. He calls her "my baby"... It felt good to talk about her, and to see the understanding on his young but very wise face.

So today I am asking that every one spends an extra minute with their precious children. Soak it up. Cherish it...


  1. Aw babe, I did not know. It takes such strength to write and share this. Thank you. Big hug...

  2. I wanted to send ((hugs)), I know your pain to well, I also buried a daughter at this same age a few years ago. I buried my last child, Deke, just over 18 months ago. If you even want to talk or just rant, please do, we live in a "new normal", its never the same and never will be and we learn to live, again....... Many ((hugs)) it sucks walking this path...

  3. For you from my Blog, which I dont do much with: